(michael james) "hi everyone."
(carisa james) "hi!"
"for anyone who might not know who we are, i'm mike james and this is cari james. we're the best men -"
"yes, best people, right."
"and andy, the groom, is our baby brother. so as you can imagine, there are plenty of stories we could tell about him."
"so very many stories. funny stories, embarrassing stories, stories to get him in trouble with our parents..."
"so many that we really couldn't narrow it down very far when we started thinking about what to talk about. so we decided not to."
"but don't worry, we're not planning to talk your ears off. there's a lot more food to be had and dancing and things, we know you've got important things to get to."
"right. what we decided we really wanted to do was dedicate this toast to em, the beautiful bride who is officially part of our family today!"
"yeah, since she actually went through with it. my condolence card will be in the mail."
"anyway, andy and em were dating for at least a few months before he even let it slip that he was seeing someone."
"it was very sneaky of him. at first we thought it was because it wasn't really that serious. but then we met her, and i think everyone here knows how wonderful she is, so clearly that wasn't it."
"so we figured it had to be the opposite, that it was actually very serious. and considering where we are right now, we all know that ended up being true. and we loved em from the very beginning, we were very excited when these two got engaged and started planning all this."
"but we didn't get to spend quite as much time with her until just this spring, when we all quarantined together."
"all being the three of us, mike, em and me all together at my house. and what really helped us get to know emily better was this game we started."
"that i started."
"this game that mike started."
"now, think back to the beginning of spring, because this takes place before everyone knew what the quarantine olympics were."
"it's really important to him that you recognize that he did not copy the quarantine olympics in any way, this was a totally separate thing that doesn't at all relate to the quarantine olympics."
"no, because these were the james games!"
"the james games was something the three of us did every night, something different each time. i mean, we covered a wide array of topics. we did poker, we did timed sudoku, we did truth or dare..."
"chopped, swim races, dizzy bat pinatas..."
"guessing games, two truths and a lie..."
"yes, and that's where this story takes us. see, we had no idea what em's middle name was."
"right, and that probably sounds silly, because at the end of the day it doesn't totally matter. but one of the statements we had to determine as truth or a lie was that her name was emily june ames, and you might know that's true."
"so? that's what you're probably saying right now, whether you knew that or not."
"but when we learned that was true, it was an exciting moment for us!"
"yes, because see, in the james family, our parents think they're really cute. and part of that is following a very cute naming system. i'm michael jonathan, she's carisa jean and the groom is andrew jacob."
"we were, without a doubt, incredibly happy that em was going to be part of our family, but this was it, this was a sign! we had zero question in that moment that emily june was meant to be in our family."
"that's cute, right? but what happened with the james games? i know that's what you're wondering."
"i most definitely did not win. not even close."
"you definitely didn't. you were pretty terrible at them -"
"- what we have here is a framed medal for the true james games champion."
"and we'd like to present it to the newest james, and the james games winner, em!"
"as long as you promise not to share it with andy, because he did not participate and therefore has zero rights to that medal, none of this what's yours is mine stuff."
"it's yours to hold on to -"
"to hang in a spot of extreme honor."
"- until the next james games commences, whenever that is."
"next year. i'm working on a way to make it an annual thing. plus, i'm coming for it."
"what mike means is that we are beyond happy that the universe lead you into andy's life, and into ours. getting to know you has genuinely been the greatest pleasure and i'm so glad to call you a friend and even more, family. you're the sister i've always wanted!"
"we love you, ej. you're easily the best thing that's ever happened to andy and we're more than willing to count our blessings and enjoy the benefits."
"love you, em!"
"now if everyone would please raises your glasses and join us in toasting dr. and mrs. james, the reigning james."