I first saw Carisa James when she was taking the fashion world by storm in Gossip Girl, but I first met her when the world at large really met her, when she was in The Wolf of Wall Street, a Martin Scorsese movie. After that she was nominated for an Academy Award playing the doomed ice skater Tonya Harding in I, Tonya and now she's co-starring in Bombshell playing a composite character based on a lot of women that were mistreated by Roger Ailes at Fox News. She's a remarkable person, she has enormous charm and you can't help but fall in love with her.

[ THEME SONG PLAYS ]

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Hi, my name is Lynn Hirschberg and what is your name?

CARISA JAMES: I'm Carisa James.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And this is my podcast Five Things with...

CARISA JAMES: Carisa James!

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Okay, so the first thing will be a person in your life that's really made a huge impression on you or changed your life in some way, for better or worse.

CARISA JAMES: This is so hard because I'm honestly... I have a really incredible family. I'm so lucky that my parents have always been very supportive. My mama and my dad are such figures in my life, and they were absolute constant presences when we were all growing up. I mean, like, they were at every game, every choir competition, all that. And I had two brothers and both my parents had full time jobs, so you know they were incredibly busy. So it's... it feels a little sacrilegious not to say either of them. But how do I split them up? So no, I can't, I can't. And my two brothers are basically two of my absolute best friends, so I feel awful singling one out. But I'm going to anyway. (Lynn laughs) I'm going to get such shit for it!

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: That's what siblings are for anyway though.

CARISA JAMES: This is so true. But, okay, so, my older brother -

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: What's his name?

CARISA JAMES: Oh, Michael, Mike. He is one of my absolute favorite people in the world. And I could say that about any of my family, and I'm not just saying that because he's here... (Lynn laughs) but I do spend the most time with him because he travels with me and works with me and everything.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: What does he do?

CARISA JAMES: He's my assistant and now he's also doing a lot of my social media. And everyone always thinks that must be a really terrible combination, but I think... it's such an odd thing, to have an assistant? I like to think I'm very self-reliant. He may say differently (she laughs with Lynn) but it's been more that having him around has always been a comfort. It's having a piece of home and knowing that there is someone in my corner who is going to tell me when I'm making a mess of something and just really look out for me because they love me and care about me and not just because it's a business thing, you know? So he's been with me since the beginning. A little on and off, sometimes, because he's also this really incredible photographer and sometimes he goes and does some things for that or I'm not working and he'll go on vacation just to get away from me or something (Lynn laughs) but. It's good, it's really good.

I mean, we're from Austin, so Hollywood, this whole thing, this is not really our world and he's done everything with me. So basically it's the two of us sitting in the front row at some fashion week event in Paris giggling like idiots and everyone is like, "Who invited them?" (Everyone laughs.) And this has been since, I mean, he moved with me from home to New York when I started Gossip Girl because I had just graduated from high school and I was honestly pretty terrified. Like, if I had gone to college I probably would have gone to UT or something and been right by home so New York City was this gigantic leap for me and I was really uncertain about the entire thing.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And he just left and went with you?

CARISA JAMES: Yeah. I mean, he was doing his own thing in Austin. He was taking some classes and things but wasn't really sure he loved what he was doing. And then I got the call about getting cast and... I really had never thought that was going to happen? Like, that was only the third thing I ever did, that was my first TV audition. And up until that call it was this fun thing I'd done once or twice but it wasn't my game plan, you know? So I got the call and my first thought was no way, I can't do that, I can't move to this huge city by myself! And Mike was just like, "Okay, let's do it, I'll go with you."

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Just like that.

CARISA JAMES: Just like that! No hesitation, no thought about it. He was just immediately all in. But that's what he's like, he is up for anything. And he's... he's the most vivacious person I have ever met. I honestly don't think he's ever met a person he couldn't charm. And he's such a character. And he's just immediately friends with people the moment he meets them, and he thinks that entitles him to basically say what he wants? He has so very little filter. (Everyone laughs) Like, oh my god, when I was working with Brad Pitt -

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: For Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? Had you ever met him before?

CARISA JAMES: No! No, I mean, we might have crossed paths at things but I really had never met him. And even on Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, we didn't really work together. So it wasn't until we were promoting things that we really got to get to know each other at all. And we were in... I'd taken a little break at home in Austin before Cannes. And so we're in Cannes, and Mike is there with me for legit every step. So we'd all been to dinner, I think it was Quentin and Ashley and Brad, and they all had their own people there or whatever. But I just happened to be sitting next to Brad. And... oh my God, I'm going to get in so much trouble by so many people for this. But, okay, we get back to the hotel later in the night and Mike turns to me and he's like, "You should totally go on a date with Brad." Just like that! I'm like, "What? That's not how that works!" And he was so convinced, not because there was anything at all there but just because Brad was there and as he kept saying, "When else are you going to have the chance?!" (Everyone laughs, Lynn especially hard.) I'm like, "That's never going to happen, Brad doesn't want to date me." (More laughter) And then of course, every single stop on that promotional tour was littered with stories that Brad and I, or even Ashley and I, were totally dating. Mike just kept going, "Everyone else thinks it could happen." Like, silly sister, you should listen to me, i'm a genius who knows what he's talking about. Basically, he just thinks Brad is a total hunk. But I spent the entire promotional trip trying to keep him away from Brad and like, so worried he was going to corner and try and charm him into taking me out or something, it was horrific. Probably especially for Brad. Sorry, Brad! (Everyone laughs)

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: But it might have worked!

CARISA JAMES: Oh my God, he's going to throw out his neck nodding in agreement with you. I see you over there! But I mean, no, no. (More laughs.)

[ THEME SONG INTERLUDE ]

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And is there a place that has made an impact on you?

CARISA JAMES: This is so hard, because there's a few places that I could say? I mean, obviously I grew up in Austin and that's definitely a big part of who I am. And part of me wants to say New York City, because I was raised in Texas but I really feel like I grew up in New York, that was a whole other world of experience for me. But that seems like... that's too much of a given. So, I'm going to say... yeah, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Cabo? (Laughs)

CARISA JAMES: Yes!

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Why Cabo?

CARISA JAMES: Because that's where I filmed a lot of my scenes for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. At the time, I was only seventeen so I needed a guardian on set so my family planned this whole big vacation around my filming schedule so we'd all go out there. We traveled a little while I was growing up, but never anything like this. So this trip to Mexico, it was my first time out of the country, my first time really getting to experience another culture. And as a whole, that film was just the most wonderful experience, I have the absolute fondest memories of the whole thing, I was incredibly spoiled to have that as my first real role. But that trip also really cemented my love for travel and wanting to see everything and experience everything. Even though I hate flying.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Wait, you don't like to fly?

CARISA JAMES: Oh God no, I'm legitimate the most terrified. I'm the worst flier, I'm awful.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: But you must fly all the time.

CARISA JAMES: I do! And again, I'm totally bit by the travel bug, I love going to new places. But the getting there...

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: What's the worst flight you've ever been on?

CARISA JAMES: All of them? (Everyone laughs.) No, uh. The flight itself wasn't bad, like there wasn't an emergency or turbulence or anything crazy, but I was filming a movie in Australia and flying there from New York is, that's basically an entire day on a plane. I genuinely almost didn't do the movie for that reason alone. I thought I was going to die getting there. Australia is such a beautiful place and I'm legitimately so glad I've been there and I got to see it, but I don't know if I can ever go back. (Everyone laughs again.)

[ THEME SONG INTERLUDE ]

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And thing, meaning an art project or a movie or a book or something that was really impactful for you.

CARISA JAMES: Oh. Oh, when you said thing, I was thinking of like, an item of value to me. Is that okay?

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: You're allowed to do whatever, this is an open ended podcast. (They both laugh)

CARISA JAMES: Oh good! Okay, so. When I was doing Gossip Girl, we got to have some of the most insane experiences. I mean, these are things you could never plan for yourself, but that show sort of took off and all of a sudden these people were reaching out and just inviting us to these crazy things.

So, we were filming some episode in Paris during Couture week. I mean, that in itself is... wow. You know? And we're there and I get an invitation to come to Christian Louboutin's atelier and get a glimpse at what they do and what they're working on and things. Talk about mind blown, I spent a good day thinking it was some really elaborate prank someone was trying to pull on me. (Lynn laughs.) But I go, and I'm walking around trying not to touch and ruin anything (Everyone laughs.) and they're putting together this just, gorgeous pair of heels. And Christian basically caught me staring with my mouth wide open and asked if I liked them. And I'm like, "No, I love them, I would never take these off!" So he just immediately declares that he's going to call them the Carisa. Again, I totally thought this was a joke, so I'm smiling and laughing and just pleased as punch that he'd even just say that.

And then a couple weeks later, I'm back home in New York and I get in and I have this box and I open it and it's the shoes! It's the shoes and the sweetest note from Christian and legitimately they're named the Carisa and I still can't even believe it. I wear them all the time, I have multiple pairs. Because they're the perfect shoe, they're black and strappy and just... they're amazing. They're power shoes, they're my good luck shoes. I've worn them for a few premieres, I wore them at the awards when I was nominated for an Oscar. They're the shoes I had on to audition for The Wolf of Wall Street. I've definitely worn them on some important dates. They're the thing I put on for that extra boost of confidence. And still every time I pull out the box I'm like, "I can't believe it!"

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And you're friends with Christian?

CARISA JAMES: Oh, yes! We are now. He was my date to the Met Gala one year too and we just had the most insane, best time. We'll go shopping or out to dinner or something if we're in the same place. He's amazing. And he's so generous. He just sent over boxes and boxes of shoes, basically to outfit a character's closet for one of my movies because it seemed like the right thing to do.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Was that A Simple Favor? Your character in that, Emily, she basically only wore Louboutins.

CARISA JAMES: Yeah, it was. One of the pairs, one of my favorite pairs, were the ones I wore right at the beginning and I'm walking through the rain and they got totally ruined. I mean, you could not save these shoes and I was honestly heart broken because they were beautiful and Christian had sent them to us. And I mentioned it and he basically waived his fairy godfather wand and was just like, "Oh, I will send you more!" And he did, it was unbelievable.

[ THEME SONG INTERLUDE ]

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Alright two events, let's hear the first event in your life that had, you know, that was meaningful in some way. And it can be in a bad way too.

CARISA JAMES: Let's start with a good one, though. And since I mentioned the Oscars, that Oscars in 2018 was... it was one of the best experiences in my life. I'd never been nominated for anything like that before and, you know, people make such a big deal about it, and it was for sure but I was so unbelievably nervous just to be there for myself and not to just cheer on friends or support something I'd just appeared in. And Frances McDormand won and, I don't know if you remember it? But she asked all of us to stand up and share the moment with her. And it was... it was Sally Hawkins, Meryl Streep, Alexis Key and myself -

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Nice company.

CARISA JAMES: Oh, my gosh, it could not have been better! I mean, here's a group of women that I truly admire, who are just... the're all incredible, they are. People say this and I don't know that everyone always believes them but honestly, to be considered in the same category as them? That's winning, it is. That's more than I could ever ask for, I did not feel worthy of that. And Frances, I mean, how unbelievably lovely is it to share that spotlight? And she had all the women that were nominated that night stand, and it was just this incredibly warm feeling of camaraderie. Everyone was looking around and clapping and smiling and I'm... I'm an insanely emotional person. I really am very sensitive and that moment just got me. I almost immediately started crying and Allison Janney, she had just won for I, Tonya, and she was standing behind me and just wrapped me in the hugest hug. And we all, all of us in that category, we had a moment when they cut to commercial break right after, and I just will honestly never forget it. It was such a great feeling.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: That's amazing. And it's nice because women can be very tough. You know, it's a competitive room.

CARISA JAMES: But it wasn't, really. I mean, I'm sure it can be? It's a very competitive and comparative industry, for sure. But I didn't feel that there and, even in other years when I've been there for whatever, I never have. It feels more like... it's a celebration? Everyone takes the opportunity to meet people and tell everyone how much they loved their film or their work in general and it's always been... it's a bit like I think Homecoming is? I don't know if you've ever done that, but you see people you haven't in a while and you reminisce and talk about what you're doing. I don't know. I'm also the absolute least competitive person on the planet and pretty much have permanent rose tinted glasses (Everyone laughs) so maybe it's just me. But it's really cool, it's an incredible thing to be a part of and to feel a part of.

[ THEME SONG INTERLUDE ]

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: And another incident in your life that was memorable for whatever reason? Something not as positive?

CARISA JAMES: Uh. So, yeah. About... a year ago? Almost a year ago now, I guess. There was that large hack.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Right, right. And you were involved. You had pictures stolen?

CARISA JAMES: Yeah, pictures and then there were some other, like. There was just a lot of personal stuff, and some of it came from me and some of it was from people I had been involved with that were hacked on their own and it was a total mess, honestly. And I don't think there are even like, there aren't words to describe how totally violating that feels. And you just never know what the impact that sort of thing is going to have, you know? I was legitimately in shock, I think, and all of sudden you have all these people around you, agents and lawyers and whoever else just listing out these problems I had never even considered. I was signed on to a movie with backing from a toy brand, are they going to drop me because I'd sent these very personal pictures to a boyfriend a year ago?

I remember not that long after, I was at, I think it was the Tribeca Film Festival and I stepped outside to get to the car and there was a crowd of photographers and some of them were making these disgusting comments, trying to get a reaction. And I just got in the car and sobbed because like, what else are you supposed to do? I had no control. I couldn't make them stop, I couldn't get all these pictures and texts back, I couldn't even really explain because what am I going to say about it?

And, not that it would have ever been great obviously, but it came at a really, particularly bad time for me. I was dealing really poorly with stress and some relationships in my personal life and this was totally an example of the last straw, I was in a pretty bad place.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: You shut down your social media.

CARISA JAMES: Yeah, for a while I did. I just needed to reset and I didn't know how else to do it. I think anyone who has ever followed me has seen that I've been pretty open with my life and then all of a sudden all these things I hadn't chosen to share were out there, some because it wasn't just me. I mean, my brothers, my parents, there were so many family pictures and messages and things stolen. My younger brother, he's a doctor, he had to take a few days off because people were tracking him down by the pictures that were stolen from me and coming into the hospital to try and see him. That's insanity. So I just wanted everything down. It's all back now, but I'm definitely a little more reserved about it all now. I mean, I want it to seem authentic and everything, and it is, but I'm being selective.

But that was definitely a turning point for me, that things couldn't keep going the way they were. And I feel like instances like that really show you what you're made of and who is really in your corner. Some of the support that came out of that was really unexpected and genuinely... I'm closer to some people now because of it. I remember, a few days after it happened Charlize called me and was like, "This is bullshit and I'm sorry and I'm here, genuinely, anything you need."

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: When you did Bombshell, did you know Charlize before you started the movie? And did you overlap while you were filming or were you mostly by yourself?

CARISA JAMES: This was after we'd wrapped, but I hadn't really. Just in passing from events, or we'd been at a few fashion type dinners together and things. But when filming, I had scenes...I had a mix with her and Nicole-

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: The elevator.

CARISA JAMES: Yeah, the elevator scene, that's the only one where the three of us are together.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: That's a great scene.

CARISA JAMES: But Charlize was also a producer and she was so involved. She was honestly just incredible. There was... I have a few heavy scenes, but there's one where I'm on the phone talking to Kate McKinnon's character and I break down and it's emotional and Kate, she was still filming SNL at the time, so her schedule was packed. We'd filmed her side of it the day before but then she was on a flight back to New York and so I wasn't going to have anyone on the other side of that scene. So Jay, our director, he was saying we could get the script supervisor or someone to run the lines for me, just sort of read them. And that's not...I was so appreciative, but obviously that's not ideal, especially for something with such build up, you know? But I was like, "Yeah, alright, whoever is available, it's not a big deal, we'll get it." But I get to set and we're all ready to roll and Charlize, who wasn't working at all that day, it's ten o'clock at night, it's the night before Thanksgiving, and I mean, she has kids and everything, she's there on set doing off camera dialogue for me so I could do that scene. And not just reading but, she was giving it everything and it was, I was so appreciative. I felt so supported, and that's just... that's who she is, that's the kind of woman she is. That's the kind of people and the energy I want to surround myself with.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: That's really incredible.

CARISA JAMES: It really was, it was everything to me.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Alright well, I think we're, we're done! Wasn't that fun?

CARISA JAMES: It was! That was great.

LYNN HIRSCHBERG: Thank you for listening to W Magazine's Five Things with me, Lynn Hirschberg.